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July 15, 1997
Dear Tonya,
Unlike Virginia Woolf, I cannot imagine reading a text without making marginal notes. I find these markers to be extremely useful for quick reference and for later reflection. Often, when I reread a novel at a later point in my life, I will associate with different characters or I will glean a different meaning from a particular passage. In writing this letter to you, I wonder if you associate yourself with in character in particular? I was not planning to ally myself with anyone in particular; but, nevertheless found that as much as I frequently disliked the ignorant state of Rachel's mind due to her lack of overall education; I could probably associate myself with her more than with any other character.
Since Rachel and I are about the same age, I find myself going through the radical mood swings that she goes through throughout the novel. I believe, like Rachel does that the world is at my feet? Does this change after you become a mother? Do you feel the same amount or the same kind of freedom? Do you believe that the character of Helen is real or at least realistic? It amazed me that the characters within the novel were so aghast that Helen could enjoy herself as much as she did at the dance considering her age (40). This is not old in my book! Maybe they were simply aghast that a woman, by herself could have such a good time? Or more to the point, perhaps it was jealously that consumed the wallflowers?
The amount of jealously between women, especially that between Rachel and Helen was most disconcerting. In fact, the first instance that I found of jealously between the two women was when Rachel befriended Clarissa. "Here Helen passed them, and seeing Rachel arm-in-arm with a comparative stranger, looking excited, was amused, but at the same time slightly irritated" (63). Why should this irritate Helen? Before this scene, Helen was not at all interested in pursuing a deeper relationship with Rachel and actually tried to avoid circumstances that require a conversation between the two. The next instance of jealously between Helen and Rachel occurs after the kiss. "’Personally’, she continued, breaking into a smile, 'I think it’s worth it; I don’t mind being kissed; I'm rather jealous, l believe, that Mr. Dalloway kissed you and didn’t kiss me" (87).
Why did it take so long for the two women to bond and band together? Even when the two women were together, they could not completely open themselves up to one another? Is this merely a gender issue, or is it because they were not truly mother and daughter, or rather is it not meant to be? Perhaps it is this unseen space or imaginary boundary between characters that allows for their growth. Helen does seem to be one of the most well developed women in the story. By well developed, I mean that Helen is very independent in her character or disposition, her thinking, and her attitudes. Not only has Helen found her voice, but she is not afraid to assert her philosophy or her self. In fact, in her first instructional chat with Rachel she says, "'So now you can go ahead and be a person of your own account" (90). Rachel not only sees Helen’s independence, but she embraces it herself with full force, "'I can be m-m-myself,' she stammered, 'in spite of you, in spite of the Dalloways, and Mr. Pepper, and Father, and my aunts, ins spite of these?'" (90).
Although the two women bond on the boat, on their walk, and at the dance-an insufferable gulf will always remain between the two characters, especially with Rachel's coming into her own. "Helen and Rachel had become very silent. Having detected, as she thought, a secret, and judging that Rachel meant to keep it from her, Mrs. Ambrose respected it carefully, but from that cause, though unintentionally, a curious atmosphere of reserve grew up between them, (256)." Is it the love of a man or men in general that keep women from uniting more than they do, or do the women themselves limit the level of closeness between one another, or is it simply as Hirst believes that one can really never know what the other person is really thinking or who they really are at their innermost beings?
Thank goodness we don't have all the answers and thank goodness our answers are not always the same. It leaves us room for exploration and growth. Perhaps this is one of the most intriguing aspects of Virginia Woolf s writing. She allows us to see the character from both inside and outside of the looking glass so that we can draw our own assumptions on these non-stoic, rather human characters.
Beth